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Risky Gambling Tied to Single Brain Connection

TUESDAY, Jan. 12, 2016 (HealthDay News) — People with a stronger connection between two parts of the brain are financially cautious, while those with a weaker connection are more likely to make risky bets, new research suggests.

Understanding this single brain connection could lead to more effective interventions for people with gambling problems or addiction, the study authors added.

“Most people love the small chance of a huge win, but people vary. Some people really, really like it. But people who have a stronger connection don’t like it as much,” said Brian Knutson, an associate professor of psychology at Stanford University, Palo Alto, California.

“Activity in one brain region appears to indicate ‘Uh oh, I might lose money,’ but in another seems to indicate ‘Oh yay, I could win something.’ The balance between this ‘uh oh’ and ‘oh yay’ activity differs between people and can determine the gambling decisions we make,” he said in a university news release.

In conducting the study, researchers monitored activity in two parts of the brain — the anterior insula and nucleus accumbens — using a technique called diffusion-weighted MRI. They found a direct connection between these two regions of the brain and noted this connection had previously only been found in animals, not people.

The researchers found the thicker the insulation on these cells, the stronger the connection between these areas of the brain. They also found stronger brain connections were associated with more cautious decisions during a gambling test.

For the study, the authors gave 32 volunteers $10 to gamble in a series of games with different odds or choose not to risk losing the cash. The participants were told they could keep any money they still had when the study ended.

Inside an MRI chamber, the participants saw a roulette wheel as well as their odds for winning or losing. Some bets carried equal odds of winning or losing $3, while others had higher odds for winning small amounts of money or a lower chance of losing a lot of money and vice versa. As the participants contemplated their choices, the brain activity between their anterior insula and nucleus accumbens was monitored.

The researchers found that all gamblers sometimes make risky bets — even those with a strong connection between these parts of their brain. When this happened, activity was reduced in the more cautious part of the brain while activity increased in the enthusiastic region, the study published on Jan. 6 in the journal Neuron revealed.

This connection, the study authors explained, enabled the more careful part of the brain to inhibit activity in the more enthusiastic region.

“We could predict the person’s upcoming bet based on the balance of activity in these regions,” said Knutson.

Those with stronger, more insulated brain connections were less likely to have increased activity in the enthusiastic region of the brain when they considered placing a risky bet. Since strengthening this connection could help people make fewer risky decisions, the researchers noted this might lead to new interventions for those with gambling problems.

“Now we can start asking interesting questions about impulse control and gambling,” Knutson said. “For example, does the connection change over the course of therapy?”

More information

The U.S. National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke provides more information on the human brain.





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Implanted Defibrillators Help Women as Much as Men: Study

TUESDAY, Jan. 12, 2016 (HealthDay News) — Among people with heart failure, implanted defibrillators benefit women as much as men, a new study finds.

Previous research has shown that implantable cardioverter defibrillators (ICDs) help heart failure patients live longer. And current guidelines recommend that doctors consider adding the devices to standard treatment for all heart failure patients.

However, women are less likely than men to receive an ICD, the study authors said. One reason may be that questions remained about whether the devices benefit women with heart failure.

People with heart failure are at increased risk for heart rhythm problems. ICDs are placed under the skin of the chest and deliver an electric shock to restore normal heart rhythm when a potentially deadly abnormal rhythm is detected.

The new study compared thousands of female and male heart failure patients with and without ICDs. After three years, just over 40 percent of women and nearly 43 percent of men with ICDs had died, compared with about 49 percent of women and nearly 53 percent of men without the devices, the investigators found.

The risk of death during the study period was more than 20 percent lower in both men and women with ICDs, according to the report published online Jan. 12 in the journal Circulation: Heart Failure.

The findings reinforce guidelines calling for both female and male heart failure patients to receive the devices, said study author Dr. Emily Zeitler, a cardiology and research fellow at Duke Clinical Research Institute in Durham, N.C.

“Currently, many eligible patients with heart failure are not referred to physicians who can implant the devices. If you have heart failure, ask your doctor whether you might benefit from an ICD in addition to your other therapy,” Zeitler said in a journal news release.

More information

The U.S. National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute has more on implantable cardioverter defibrillators.





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5 Shower Mistakes That Can Wreck Your Skin

Photo: Getty Images

Photo: Getty Images

You probably don’t put too much thought into your daily shower—it’s just something you do every day to get clean and, depending on your routine, wake up or wind down. But certain habits may actually be leaving you with dry, itchy skin, or even prone to a raging infection. Nix these sudsy saboteurs before you lather up next.

Your water is too hot

Dry, itchy skin? Scalding showers might be to blame. “If there is tons and tons of steam coming out, then that’s a sign that your shower is too hot,” says Melissa Piliang, MD, dermatologist at the Cleveland Clinic. In addition to drying out your skin, Dr. Piliang warns that hot showers can cause eczema to flare up.

You don’t have to give up steamy showers entirely. To get the same soothing effect, Dr. Piliang recommends letting the steam build up before you step under the water. “First turn on your shower as hot as you want it,” she explains. “Let it get nice and steamy and warm in there, and after it’s all heated up, turn it down to a comfortable temperature and then get in.” This way you can enjoy the heat without irritating your skin.

RELATED: 10 Products You Think Are Healthy, But Aren’t

You’re using a harsh soap

You may love that squeaky-clean feeling that comes from scouring your skin, but soaps with antibacterial agents or harsher detergents may be causing more harm than good.

That squeaky sensation happens when all of the natural oils have been stripped from the skin. In contrast, “when the oils are present, they act as a lubricant so your hand will slide smoothly over the skin,” says Dr. Piliang. Without that barrier, your skin is even more exposed to hot water, whipping winds, and other things that dry it out.

What’s more, triclosan, an antibacterial ingredient used in some soaps, has been linked to more serious health concerns. The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) maintains that the ingredient is not toxic to humans, but studies in animals have suggested that triclosan may alter hormone levels. Other lab studies have linked the chemical to contributing to the development of antibiotic resistance.

Dr. Piliang recommends skipping antibacterial soaps in the shower, and looking for products that are fragrance-free and contain added moisturizers, such as Aveeno Active Naturals Fragrance Free Skin Relief Body Wash ($7; amazon.com) and Neutrogena Oil-Free Moisture Sensitive Skin ($9; amazon.com). Everyone’s skin is different, so you may need to try a few different products to find the one that’s right for you.

RELATED: A Smart Guide to Scary Chemicals

You’re scrubbing too much

Unless you’re covered in grime (from say, working outside all day), the only places that need major soaping are your armpits and groin. Water does the job for everything else—even after a sweaty workout, explains Robynne Chutkan, MD, the founder of the Digestive Center for Women in Chevy Chase, Maryland, and author of The Microbiome Solution ($16, amazon.com).

In addition to those natural oils, your skin is also crawling with “good” bacteria that are crucial for skin health. Scrubbing down from head-to-toe, even if you’re using a milder soap, can still strip your skin of this beneficial bacteria that helps protect you from acne and eczema flare-ups, and yep, dry skin.

RELATED: 20 Mistakes You’re Making With Your Teeth

You’re not cleaning your razor

Razors can collect bacteria from your skin, and can then breed more germs while sitting in a damp, dark shower. That’s why you must rinse it with scalding hot water before each use, says Sanford Vieder, MD, of Lakes Urgent Care in Michigan. Skipping this step can opening you up to infection, especially if you cut yourself, but even if you don’t.

“When you use the razor you can obviously nick yourself and give yourself a cut, but the razor is also going to make very microscopic tears in the skin that can be a portal of entry for bacteria or fungus,” adds Dr. Piliang.

You should replace your razor blade completely about once a week. “If you use a dull blade you are at a greater risk of cutting your skin and creating an entryway for that bacteria to come in,” warns Dr. Vieder.

RELATED: 20 Habits That Make You Miserable Every Winter

You’re skipping gym shower etiquette

Your years of dorm living may be long behind you, but that doesn’t mean you should abandon the practice of wearing flip flops when you use a communal bathroom.

“Athletes foot and warts can be picked up in public places,” warns Dr. Piliang. “Wearing shower shoes or flip flops on your feet when you’re in and out of the shower can help avoid these problems.”




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How to Correctly Fill in Your Straight Brows

Photo: Getty Images

Photo: Getty Images

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that brows are one of your most important accessories. Season after season, the brow trend continues to grow, but it’s difficult to keep up because we all have such different looks. In order to customize your grooming routine to your individual face, shape matters.

If your celebrity brow twins are Cara Delevingne, Lily Collins, and Miley Cyrus, you have straight brows. See below for the best way to fill them in.

RELATED: The Most Popular Brow Shapes in the Country, by Zip Code

For a Natural Look:

1. Brush up and down to find the shape of the brow with a spoolie brush. Once you’ve discovered the shape, it’s easier to properly apply products like a pro.

2. Apply a pigmented brow powder to fill in any sparse areas or gaps in color. This will help to create a polished, yet still natural look. Start at the inner corner of the brow (where the hair is longest) and apply upward strokes to evenly distribute. Recommended: Maybelline New York Brow Drama Pro Palette.

3. Outline the brow with a defining wax pencil and extend the tail ends a bit longer to reinforce the shape. This will open your eyes and properly frame your face. Recommended: Maybelline New York Eyestudio Brow Define and Fill Duo.

RELATED: A History in Eyebrows: The Most Popular Shapes of Every Decade

For a Bolder Look:

4. Use a reflective highlighting powder under the brow and along the brow bone to sharpen the brow line. This will give your look more intensity and definition in a few quick swipes. Recommended: Maybelline New York Brow Drama Pro Palette.

5. Add gel, brushing in the natural direction that the brow hairs grow, feathering them out for an added volume. You can choose to use a clear gel for structure and texture, or a colored variety for even more pop. Recommended: Maybelline New York Eyestudio Brow Drama.

RELATED: Eyebrow Extensions Changed My Face (and My Life)

Watch the step-by-step video:

This article originally appeared on MIMIchatter.com.




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One Hookah Session Has 25 Times More Tar Than a Cigarette

Photo: Getty Images

Photo: Getty Images

There’s a common misconception that hookahs aren’t very dangerous. A recent Rutgers University study revealed that 24% of both smokers and nonsmokers under age 25 believe hookahs—shared pipes that allow users to inhale tobacco smoke that’s been passed through a water basin—are safer than cigarettes. But according to a new study from the journal Public Health Reports, this is an even bigger myth than thought.

Researchers from the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine found that one hookah session produces 2.5 times more nicotine, 10 times more carbon monoxide, 25 times more tar, and 125 times more smoke than a single cigarette.

RELATED: The 10 States That Are Most Addicted to Smoking

To get their results, the team analyzed the results of 17 studies looking at the toxins inhaled through each type of tobacco product.

“It’s not a perfect comparison because people smoke cigarettes and hookahs in very different ways,” lead author Brian A. Primack, MD, PhD,  explained in a press release about the study. For example, cigarette smokers might smoke upwards of 20 cigarettes a day, whereas even frequent hookah smokers may engage in far fewer sessions throughout the same time period.

“We had to conduct the analysis this way—comparing a single hookah session to a single cigarette—because that’s the way the underlying studies tend to report findings. So, the estimates we found cannot tell us exactly what is ‘worse,'” he adds. “But what they do suggest is that hookah smokers are exposed to a lot more toxicants than they probably realize.”

RELATED: Think Hookahs Filter Out Tobacco Toxins? Think Again

What makes this even more troubling is that while smoking rates among U.S. adults recently dipped to a new low of just 14.9%, hookah and e-cigarette use is way up. According to the 2014 National Youth Tobacco Survey, hookah use actually doubled between 2011 and 2014—even as teen cigarette use dropped from 16% to 9%.

For information on how to quit smoking, visit our resource center.

 




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Transcendental Meditation May Help Relieve PTSD

TUESDAY, Jan. 12, 2016 (HealthDay News) — Transcendental meditation may help ease post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) symptoms in some soldiers and seems to reduce their need for medication, a new study finds.

“Regular practice of transcendental meditation provides a habit of calming down and healing the brain,” study lead author Vernon Barnes, a physiologist at the Georgia Prevention Institute at the Medical College of Georgia, said in a college news release.

The study included 74 active-duty U.S. military personnel with PTSD or other type of anxiety disorder. Half of them did regular transcendental meditation in addition to regular psychotherapy, and half did not.

After one month, nearly 84 percent of those in the meditation group had stopped, reduced or stabilized their use of drugs to treat their mental health conditions, while nearly 11 percent increased their use of the drugs.

In the non-meditation group, the percentages were about 59 percent and 41 percent, respectively.

The percentages in both groups remained the same in the following months. By the sixth month, those who did not meditate had a 20 percent greater increase in symptoms than those in the meditation group, according to the study published in the January issue of the journal Military Medicine.

The goal of transcendental meditation is to achieve a state of inner quietness that lowers stress hormone levels and activation of the sympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for the flight-or-fight response, the researchers explained.

When soldiers return home after deployment, this hypervigilant state of mind can continue and make them edgy, irritable, anxious and prone to overreaction, Barnes explained.

About 13 percent of U.S. troops deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan have PTSD, which often develops after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event, the researchers said. People with PTSD may have flashbacks, nightmares and frightening thoughts that interfere with daily living.

More information

The U.S. National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health has more about meditation.





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Online Tool Helps Predict Chances of Kidney Failure, Study Finds

By Steven Reinberg
HealthDay Reporter

TUESDAY, Jan. 12, 2016 (HealthDay News) — A new online tool may help predict whether someone with chronic kidney disease will develop kidney failure in the next two to five years.

Using results from kidney function tests, the tool helps those at high risk for kidney failure prepare for dialysis or kidney transplant. It also provides reassurance to those who likely won’t progress to kidney failure, said lead researcher Dr. Navdeep Tangri, an associate professor of nephrology at the University of Manitoba in Winnipeg, Canada.

“This study sets the stage for the tool to be used globally for all patients with kidney disease. The tool helps patients plan their lives by knowing what their risk is for dialysis,” Tangri said.

To find out the risk of kidney failure, patients need blood and urine test results from their doctor to enter into the online calculator, along with their age and sex, Tangri explained.

Tangri said that, working with their doctor, patients can use the tool’s findings to help lower their risk of kidney failure by better controlling their blood pressure and blood sugar, along with eating a healthy diet and exercising.

“In nine out of 10 cases, patients think their risk is higher than it actually is,” Tangri said. “Most of the time, the information provides them with peace of mind.”

The report was published Jan. 12 in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

For the study, researchers tested the accuracy of the online tool in more than 700,000 people with chronic kidney disease in 30 countries. The investigators found that the risk calculator accurately predicted the risk of kidney failure in two or five years.

Tangri said that results in the United States were similar to those in the original Canadian study. However, in countries outside North America, the tool needed adjustment to account for the lower kidney failure risk in these countries, he said.

Doctors in some of these countries may be less likely to refer patients for dialysis or they may be better at treating kidney disease, Tangri said.

According to the researchers, the original Canadian tool was criticized because there was little data from black patients with kidney disease. Blacks have the highest rates of kidney disease in the United States. However, including more black patients didn’t change the accuracy of the tool, the researchers found.

In the United States, about 26 million people have kidney disease, the National Kidney Foundation says. Kidney failure occurs when approximately 85 to 90 percent of your kidney function is gone, according to the foundation.

In 2013, more than 117,000 patients developed kidney failure, the study authors said. About 1 percent of those with chronic kidney disease develop kidney failure every two years, they added.

The tool can help patients in several ways, Tangri said. It can help patients and doctors plan for potential dialysis or transplant. Because patients who need dialysis require an operation to create a fistula to connect them to the machine and it takes months of healing before the fistula can be used, the surgery can take place long before dialysis begins.

For patients who need a kidney transplant, the tool allows them to get on a transplant list earlier.

Kidney specialist Dr. Maria DeVita, of Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City, said, “Since chronic kidney disease is well known to progress at various rates in individual patients — even amongst those with the same diagnosis — it has been a clinical problem on how best to advise patients preparing for kidney failure or to allocate resources for those at the highest risk.”

This report is good news for those with chronic kidney disease and their doctors, she said.

“This study gives all clinicians hope that we will be able to better predict which patients are at the greatest risk of progressing to end-stage kidney disease,” DeVita said.

More information

For more on kidney disease, visit the National Kidney Foundation.





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New Clarity on Who Needs Mammograms — When

Photo: Getty Images

Photo: Getty Images

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A government-convened panel of experts is sticking with its recommendation that mammograms have the most benefit in lowering the risk of breast cancer for women over 50. Other groups are coming closer to that advice as well.

The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF), a group of experts charged by the government to review important health advice, created an uproar in 2009 when it released a draft of its report advising women to start getting mammograms at age 50, rather than at age 40 as most cancer experts, including the American Cancer Society, had been suggesting. The USPSTF also concluded that the screening should happen every two years, instead of yearly.

Now, in its final recommendation, published Monday in the Annals of Internal Medicine, the task force is standing by this advice—but it has taken pains to carefully reword its recommendation to reduce confusion. “If you have great science but communicate it poorly, you get what happened in 2009, where there was a complete misunderstanding,” says Dr. David Grossman, vice chair of the USPSTF and senior investigator at Group Health Research Institute in Seattle, Wash. “We recognize that mammography is an important tool in preventing deaths from breast cancer, but that the value of mammography does vary by age.”

The final version stresses that the benefits of mammography increase gradually with age. The recommendation says that the ability of routine mammograms to lower the risk of breast cancer begins at age 40, but that they significantly increase around age 50. The balance between these benefits and the risks of false positives and over-diagnosis or overtreatment tips in favor of screening as a woman ages.

“I fear that with our previous recommendation, it sounded like it was either/or: start mammogram screening at age 40 [as other groups advised] or wait until age 50. We tried to clarify that both the risks of breast cancer and the benefits of mammography change over time, so there is not an abrupt shift at a particular age,” says Dr. Michael LeFevre, immediate past chair of the USPSTF and professor of community medicine at University of Missouri School of Medicine.

RELATED: Why Doctors Are Rethinking Breast-Cancer Treatment

What sets the USPSTF recommendation apart is its message that the harms of screening must be balanced against the benefits. Until the task force’s recommendation, the risks of screening often weren’t part of discussions women have with their doctors about mammograms. For decades, the need to educate people about screening and the risks of cancer meant that mammograms—and other cancer screens—tended to be presented in an almost exclusively positive light and as a mandate for anyone interested in improving their health.

“The mentality was that, ‘Look, we have tests that can reduce your chance of dying of cancer, so you should be getting screened,’” says Dr. Therese Bevers, medical director of the cancer prevention center at MD Anderson Cancer Center who is not a member of the USPSTF. “We didn’t understand there were costs. The harms were not on the horizon; we didn’t understand we would be getting false positives and over diagnoses and things like that. That was something we learned as we were doing screening.”

That education is now prompting a rethinking of the culture of screening that has pushed regular screening tests as the most responsible way to protect yourself from cancer, and even from dying an early death.

RELATED: High-Tech 3D Mammograms Probably Saved This Woman’s Life

Does Screening Save Lives?

The problem is, as a recent study pointed out, there is no solid evidence supporting the fact that cancer screening “saves lives” as many campaigns, particularly early on, claimed. Yes, regular screening can, theoretically, detect cancer earlier and therefore potentially reduce the risk of dying of cancer, but there’s no scientific proof that it can reduce your risk of dying early from any cause.

Yet public health experts have been making a leap from the fact that screening can lower the risk of dying from, say, breast cancer, to assuming that it can help a woman to live longer and avoid dying prematurely of any other cause. “I am very willing to admit that [it’s] a surrogate, and that it’s not a perfect surrogate [for saving lives],” says Dr. Otis Brawley, chief medical officer of the American Cancer Society says of the data supporting only reduction of cancer deaths and not overall early deaths. “I actually try to avoid using the phrase ‘saving lives’ in almost everything I write and do.”

But ask the average woman about what cancer screening is supposed to do, and she will probably say “save lives.” It might seem like a small distinction but it’s important. Looking at overall mortality, or deaths from any cause, is the most accurate way to measure the effectiveness of screening. Just looking at screening’s effect on cancer deaths, or death rates from a specific cancer, says nothing about how long that person will live overall, since it only looks at one disease. In addition, it does not take into account any complications or side effects of the screening, including exposure to radiation and even overtreatment, that could also potentially be fatal.

RELATED: Mammograms Go 3-D

Prostate cancer provides a perfect example. When prostate cancer screening became de rigeur in the 1990s, doctors didn’t realize that most of the lesions they would find would not actually need treatment. Studies now suggest that about half of men diagnosed with prostate cancer are over diagnosed, meaning they received treatment for a cancer that likely would not have ever progressed to cause symptoms or contribute to their early death. These men likely had lesions that grew so slowly that men were more likely to die of something other than prostate cancer. But many received hormone treatments since they believed that getting a diagnosis of prostate cancer meant they needed to treat it somehow, even if they didn’t have any symptoms.

That led to an increase in heart disease rates from the exposure to the well-intentioned but unneeded anti-androgen hormone therapy—and the USPSTF to recommend that men skip getting the blood test to screen for prostate cancer entirely. “The definition of what cancer is has moved from the 1953 definition where all cancer that was diagnosed killed people, to the 21st century definition where we now realize that a 10mm lesion in a woman’s breast may be genomically programmed to grow and spread and kill her, or it may be genomically programmed to just stay 10mm for the next 70 years in this 60 year old woman,” says Brawley.

RELATED: Mammogram Guidance Gets an Overhaul–Again

More Room for Choice

Ultimately, the new mammogram advice makes more room for choice. “Some women will say, ‘I’m happy to have a mammogram every other year beginning at age 50,’” says MD Anderson’s Bevers. “Others will say, ‘I don’t care if I get false positive results, I want to start screening at 40.’”

When women go in for their first mammograms the rates of false positives tend to be high, simply because “these are the first several mammograms where we are learning what their breasts look like,” says Bevers. “We might see asymmetry, or something different, and we call her back for a suspicious finding that becomes a false positive. It may simply be a characteristic of her breasts, but we don’t know that, because we’ve never imaged her breasts before.”

Brawley says that mammogram screening advice is slowly but surely becoming more sophisticated, and the USPSTF’s recommendation, as well as the ACS’s recent revision, reflect this evolution. It’s a move away from the paternalism that characterized medicine for so long, where doctors decreed what patients, or even healthy people should do to avoid serious illness, to a more precision medicine-based strategy that empowers people to educate themselves and work with their doctors in making health decisions that fit their needs and their circumstances. “The patient needs to be involved in this discussion, and needs to make decisions about her fate,” he says. If she’s armed with the information about the benefits and risks associated with mammograms, she can hopefully start to do that with more confidence.

This article originally appeared on Time.com.




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5 Mental Blocks That Are Ruining Your Sex Life

Photo: Getty Images

Photo: Getty Images

I can remember when I was younger, the way a frog would get stuck in my throat whenever I wanted to express something in the throes of a sexual situation. I now know that that feeling is not unusual. Many people struggle to tell a partner what they really want—whether it’s a tiny adjustment or an exotic fantasy. As a sexual empowerment coach, I help women find their “voice” to do just that.

It all starts with the way you talk to yourself, and the stories you carry with you. They are embedded with beliefs, some positive (I’m totally lovable, I am a fantastic kisser) and some negative (My belly’s too flabby, I’m defective because I don’t have orgasms). That internal voice affects your external one, and how you feel communicating about sex.

With my clients I’ve noticed that there are five common mental blocks that discourage women from sharing their desires. But if they can overcome those hang ups, the rewards reach far beyond the bedroom. The ability to talk openly with a partner about what gives you pleasure (and what doesn’t) is incredibly empowering, and ultimately leads to deeper and more meaningful intimacy.

RELATED: Best and Worst Foods for Sex

You’re afraid of being judged

This fear holds people back more than nearly anything else. The anxiety gets exacerbated because we don’t know how other people really have sex, or think about sex. So it’s easy to assume you’re somehow not “normal.” When you judge yourself, you worry your partner will think the same. The result: You filter all of your desires, and typically decide in the end they’re not worth saying out loud.

Try this: Imagine for a moment what it would be like if you didn’t fear judgment. Make a list of what you’d do—and how you’d feel—if you followed your sexual instincts. Inspired? Sometimes it’s enough to say to your partner, “I want to ask for something sexually, and I’m afraid of what you’ll think, but I’d like to be more honest.” Then see how your partner reacts. With the right person, showing a little vulnerability can lead to a more authentic relationship and far more satisfying sex.

RELATED: The Better Sex Workout

You’re insecure

When it comes to sexuality, insecurity can be an enormous source of pain. Maybe you are afraid your partner won’t be happy with your request. Or you think you don’t deserve whatever it is you desire. Maybe you fear you can’t deliver what your partner desires. You might even convince yourself that he or she will stray for that reason. Clients come to me with that concern all the time: They don’t want to lose their partner, but worry they’re on different pages sexually.

Try this: Determine whether you feel insecure personally, or in the relationship. If it’s about you, you’ve got some work to do so you don’t end up projecting your self-doubt onto your partner. (“You think she’s prettier than me.” “If I were more [fill in the blank], you’d be more into me.”)

If your anxiety is rooted in the relationship, consider the possibilities: Is there a real threat? Do you think about cheating? Or are you just out of sync? Maybe your relationship is in need of a tune-up, or maybe you simply need more affirmation that your partner is attracted to you.

RELATED: 30 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship

You’re not really sure what you want

Many women I work with aren’t even clear on what their sexual options are. How can you make inviting requests if you don’t’ know what’s available? But the trouble is, because you’re not talking about your desire at all, you stay stuck in a perpetual state of sexual confusion and dissatisfaction.

Try this: Read some erotica, watch racy movies. Talk to your friends about what they enjoy. Go to a workshop at your local feminist woman-owned-and-operated sex toy shop, like Sugar in Baltimore or Smitten Kitten in Minneapolis. Better yet, go to a sexuality conference for lay people, like Playground in Toronto or Sex Down South in Atlanta.

The point is to explore and get excited about the possibilities. If you don’t do the internal work of discovering and embracing your wishes, it will affect what you share with your partner, and all that you don’t.

You dread rejection

One of the most common reasons people avoid expressing their desires is fear of the word “no”—because “no” to them feels like rejection. You may even be projecting your fear onto your partner, by assuming that your feedback or instruction will somehow injure their feelings.

RELATED: 10 Ways to Improve Your Relationship Instantly

Try this: Stop taking “no” personally. There are so many reasons people say “no” that have nothing to do with you. Most of the time, “no” is is a form of self-care; the person is setting a boundary that they need, at that time. Learning to hear “no” and not feel hurt is a skill we all need to master, especially in the sexual realm. Because if you spend your life hiding from rejection, you’ll never get what you truly need. You have to actually ask before you get a “yes.”

You’re doing what you think you’re supposed to do

As a society, we have a limited way of viewing sex and sexual pleasure. It’s known as the male model of sex. You know, the idea that intercourse (especially for heterosexuals) is the main event—despite the fact that “foreplay” is usually what gets women off—and sex ends when the man ejaculates. We learn this formula in sex ed, and are exposed to it constantly in the media. As a result, we’re conditioned to strive for vaginal orgasms that the majority of women never have.

Try this: Talk to your partner about trying sex that is not focused on intercourse. That conversation can open the door for the two of you to start thinking more creatively. Together, work on developing a menu of sexual options to order from. It can include some stuff you love, and some stuff you want to try. Remember that people of all genders get frustrated by that traditional model of sex. Your partner will probably thank you for being bold enough to question it.

Amy Jo Goodard is the author of  Woman on Fire: 9 Elements to Wake Up Your Erotic Energy, Personal Power, and Sexual Intelligence.




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A 6-Move Arm Workout for Weaklings

Gallery_6 Moves for Sleek and strong arms5

Most women have toned legs and a strong core at the top of their “goals” list, but too often, they tend to be lax about training their upper bodies. Why?

Well, it’s partly due to the fact that women are often afraid of building bulk in their arms and shoulders. But the thing is, having a strong upper body is essential for everything from lugging around kids and groceries to maintaining good posture. Plus, it may be cold outside now, but tank top season will be back before you know it! This workout can help you build strength (without bulk) so you can achieve both goals: feeling great and looking good.

And if you often get frustrated with your “weakling” arms, have no fear, I’ve chosen each of these moves for their ability to build strength, no matter where you’re at currently. Anyone can do them; Just start out using lighter weights (3 to 5 pounds) and as you get stronger, you can move on to heavier dumbbells.

RELATED: Train Like an Olympian With Lindsey Vonn’s Lower-Body Workout

X Raise

Photo: Jen Cohen

Photo: Jennifer Cohen

Start by holding two dumbbells in front of your body with your palms facing inwards. From here raise both arms just above shoulder height, rotating your palms to face outward. Your arms should form an X. Lower back down and repeat for 12-15 reps.

Renegade rows

Photo: Jen Cohen

Photo: Jennifer Cohen

Get into a plank position, holding two sturdy dumbbells. From here, perform a push up. When you get back to the top, perform a row with your left arm. Release back down and perform a row with your right arm. A little too much? You can also do this from your knees or without dumbbells. Perform 6-8 reps.

Plank with alternating tricep extension

Photo: Jen Cohen

Photo: Jennifer Cohen

Get into a plank position, holding two sturdy dumbbells. From here, lift your left arm up and extend it backwards alongside your body. Be sure to keep your elbow close to your body throughout the entire movement. Repeat on the right side. For beginner’s, you can perform this move from your knees to start with.

RELATED: Pin It: The Jillian Michaels Circuit Workout

 Kneeling lateral razor with shoulder press

Photo: Jen Cohen

Photo: Jennifer Cohen

Kneeling on your right knee and holding two dumbbells at your sides, raise your left arm up laterally to shoulder height. Your palm should be facing the floor with your arm straight, but not locked out. With your right arm in a 90 degree position, perform a shoulder press. Repeat for 10-12 reps before switching sides.

Kneeling bicep curl with shoulder press

Photo: Jen Cohen

Photo: Jennifer Cohen

Kneeling on your right knee and holding two dumbbells at your sides, perform a bicep curl with your right arm and a shoulder press with your left arm by pressing your arm straight overhead. Repeat for 12-15 reps before switching sides.

Front raise to lateral raise

Photo: Jen Cohen

Photo: Jennifer Cohen

Stand with your feet shoulder width apart, holding two dumbbells at your sides. From here, start raising your arms in front of you, keeping your arms straight and your palms facing the floor. When your arms are at shoulder height, pull them towards the side of your body until the are straight out to either side of you. Make sure your arms stay straight throughout the entire movement. Repeat for 6-8 reps.

Looking for more ways to ring in your New Year with a bang? Try these 4 Ab Exercises You’ve Never Seen Before.

Jennifer Cohen is a leading fitness authority, TV personality, entrepreneur, and best-selling author of the new book, Strong is the New Skinny. With her signature, straight-talking approach to wellness, Jennifer was the featured trainer on The CW’s Shedding for the Wedding, mentoring the contestants to lose hundreds of pounds before their big day, and she appears regularly on NBC’s Today ShowExtraThe Doctors, and Good Morning America. Connect with Jennifer on FacebookTwitterG+ and on Pinterest.

 




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